life story


Here I am! As my mind screams into the night, passionately pushing myself to an all time high! I never imagined that I would be doing this, i mean never in a million years did I dream this up. As I took the last drag out of a roach that burnt the the edge of my finger tips and let the soft melodies of Erykah Badu drift me away into a deep thought my hands stroked the ivory white keys playing a song I hear with out actually playing the notes. I always thought of life as being as simple as making a bowl of cereal. I would get my degree, start my company, start making millions, settle down with a beautiful exotic wife, have a beautiful mixed child, a chef, and two big ass dogs, in my big ass gated 8 room mansion. Ok I guess that wasn't as simple as dream i thought it was but damn I thought it would be so easy if you had the talent and built the fan base to break into the industry and  they would love you. 

I have seen all sides of this industry from starting to build my career in my little dorm room at Livingstone College to working out of studios with some of the biggest names in the game! I often wondered why I am still sitting here, hiding in my own studio, in this city I see so much potential in but hate so much. I spent hours, no showers, no change of cloths, just buried in my craft. From making tracks, marketing on social media, going out and shooting for clients or even bringing them in and working out of the studio. Countless hours in and out  working on my website, my friends or partners website, I didn't care about anything else and still don't about anything in this world but my goals with in my career which plays hand and hand with my goals for my life. 

Someone once told me that "a man will never be able to commit fully to a woman or anything else until he has his individual goals in order" and I believe in that. Its so hard to give anyone else my time before I but me first so I can take care of those people when I do have the time. I reflect on the greats like Dre, Diddy, and Jay-z and see what they have been threw and what steps they had to take to get to where they are today. Even thought ever man has their own story we still can relate to those people who had the same backgrounds and had the same similarities in goals as we do when they were in our positions. We learn from those people weather they are physically in our lives, a character, or historical figure we all have someone that inspires or triggers our imagination and our passion to do more for ourselves. I know that I could live a lavish life when I get there but right now isn't that time for me, I could sell my soul and make what the industry want me to make, I could be a man whore, jail bait or anything else that african american men are proclaimed to be but like everyone would say now and like my grand mom would tell me before she passed "follow your dreams and be that person you want to be, that person that would smile back at you when you look into the mirror. That will be the day that you know you are truly in love with yourself."

I tell myself everyday, no matter how broke I might be one day, or how bad I might smell, or how bad my hair is and my clothes look that I know who I am, and that I am putting in all my money, emotion and energy into the right places and have a place to focus on what I want to do. That means more to me then a pair of Jordan's, or a new fresh haircut. We all want to look good but that shit means nothing to a producer trying to make it in the industry, a person who is trying to build the next apple, or that artist that wants to top Picaso. That stuff doesn't matter to people who aren't worried about getting on the next trend when they are steady trying to create the next revolution.

So while I inhale this last still smoke and I begin to chop up this sample, I burry all sins that has been commit or that will happen and set worry free, and know that the struggle is only temporary and as long as your working harder everyday and being consistent they while hear you, "if you build it, they will come" 

Much love my NINJAS